Titirangi Storyteller

Telling tales from around the world

Posts Tagged ‘blogging

A million hits

with one comment

At the rate things are going this blog will reach one million hits in the next week or so. I’m kind of impressed. Of course, some of the major blogs do that in a day or two. But I’m not one to fuss about what I have not achieved, although, come to think of it, I really did expect to have sold at least a million copies of my novels by this time in my life.

“You can’t always get what you want, but if you try some time, you just might find, you get what you need.”

I appreciate the sentiment, noting Mick and co have sold over 70 million albums, making my million hits bloody paltry.

Love this photo of Mick. I have no idea who took it, and it’s all over the web. The papparazzi love turning him into a cartoon, which I suppose he is, in a way – but there’s still something there, that thing still burns. It’s got nothing to do with age. Mick’s got some other things I don’t have – four grandchildren. I’d happily settle for one or two.

Of course I’ve got a lot that Mick can’t have, like anonymity in a crowd and the ability to go pretty much wherever I want without being disturbed. I’m heading down to the South Island for a week in June, returning to Wanaka, one of the most amazing places on the planet any time of year. I prefer the off season, as the snow is just beginning – too early for ski madness. Clean, crisp, white.

Winter dawn on Lake Wanaka

The sun rises about 8.30 or so this time of year and sets by 5.00. I’ll be in heaven with all that lovely low light and the jewel tones it uses to paint the sky and water.

Right now, though, I am merely freezing my butt off. And it’s not even winter yet.

It’s becoming winter. Becoming colder. Becoming, always becoming. We are. It is.

Thinking back on when things WERE. They just were. How they were, When they were. They didn’t change.

Of course they did. I know it now. I must have known it then, but it was too much of a shock to believe.


If I stop and pause a second, I realise there is no becoming either. Becoming implies that you become, but to become is just a moment in becoming something else. Another step. Another moment. Another link in the chain that goes on and on and on.

Too many to count.

Like a million hits. A million times that someone has stopped to read something I wrote or study a photo I took.

There’s a label that fits on it nice and neat and tight. But there’s too much stuff in that box to get a handle on.

I guess I just wanted to say Thanks!

Thanks a million.

Written by Titirangi Storyteller

29/05/2010 at 9:12 pm

Posted in Writing

Tagged with ,

Spring has sprung a crossroads…

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One of the things I’ve never quite adjusted to living down under is having the seasons arrive three weeks earlier than the solstice or equinox generally associated with them. It wouldn’t be so bad if we actually lost three weeks of miserable cold and rain, which is the Auckland winter. But it runs on at least until the first of November and occasionally refuses to depart until the beginning of January, which is already the second month of summer. It can be silly down here. I don’t mind. Except that today was wintry.

But in the spirit of spring and new growth and earth worms busying themselves etc, I’ve begun to feel a bit restless. Ideas are earthworms, working their way to the surface. Pardon the poetic licence (and general indecency) but I suppose this means I should be plowing the furrows of my garden – blah, well, you know…

So here’s a photo of the winter.

Crossroads traffic jam

Crossroads traffic jam

This is taken from the bus series I did throughout August (in future referred to as the 2009 Bus Photos) and while it’s not a very good photo technically – not sharp enough, the car is chopped off, the bus is blocking the interesting bit of the train – it rather nicely conveys a melange of unappealing choices, with the crane in the background reminding you that no matter what you choose, there is a roadblock up ahead. You have no control over how long they’ll make you wait. But someday there’ll be a nice new something there to travel on…

This photo captures my position – waiting around with unappealing choices is kind of where I am, and reflects my attitude toward this past winter. I work in transport, so it’s not surprising I would find my metaphors there. It’s been the winter of our discontent.

Auckland is merging from 4 small cities, plus two rural districts into one SuperCity of over 1 million people. Yes, New York may have 16 million, Chongqing 32 million – but Auckland is the SuperCity. (Somewhere I there I’ve already commented on the silliness of this place… Just because I love it does not mean it’s not surreal.)

The politics around creating a SuperCity and their effect on the staff are simply deranged. I’ve watched leaders turn into bullies, good people behave badly, loyal staff quit (without a job to go to), folks of questionable ability move into roles they can’t hope to fill adequately, mysterious resignations and the gossip mill churning at speeds previously unrecorded in the annals of contemporary corporate culture. Everything’s splattered with gossip juice.


I realise it’s making me tired. Tired of hearing it, pondering it, participating in it, working in and stepping around it. Tired of farewells and rumours of farewells to come. Tired of hearing friends slog through a stagnated job market looking to escape.

And suddenly finding I’m thinking of escaping myself! That’s one hell of an earthworm – I am famous for loving my job… and yet… it’s seems like a mighty one rumbling up – and he’s got friends. Time to look at this garden… Nothing glaringly wrong with it, but it’s tired, needs a refresh, a rethink, new blood.

I just gotta get me out of these miserable crossroads! If it ain’t fun – it ain’t worth doing, that’s all there is to it.

Feets don't fail me now!

Feets don’t fail me now!

Written by Titirangi Storyteller

01/09/2009 at 11:03 pm

No more porn for me…

with 4 comments

That’s right. No sooner did I declare my perturbed state regarding pornography seekers looking for porn on my site – than they have cleaned up their act! Crikey! And I mean crikey! A random sampling of the last few days search engine requests:

  • staten island fotos
  • everything is illuminated
  • staten island
  • the commitments irish soul
  • hotel lobby
  • officious seeing eye bitch
  • monster sex sins
  • thelma and louise brad pitt

brad_pitt_10Brad Pitt is still #1, which means I really ought to write an authoritative piece on him. A girl could be tasked with much worse. The angle – brilliant artist and devoted father. Will have to leave out the whole Jennifer/Angelina thing – ick.

Staten Island is incredibly popular. Who could have known. I’m still planning my piece (translation: haven’t gotten around to it yet) on my trip to New York. The day on Staten Island was one of the very best! I could do a whole piece on that!

Hotel lobbies are a recurring search theme. They are one of those invisible subjects that really are fascinating – but you’re always busy checking in or out and rarely have the time to truly explore the amenities of a quality hotel lobby. Note to self – on next set of travels – photograph the hotel lobbies.

Officious eeing-eye bitch

Officious seeing-eye bitch

I am endlessly encouraged by the number of film lovers who are still reading about Everything is Illuminated.  One of my Top Five Films for life. For the curious, they are as follows:

  1. Touch of Evil
  2. Casablanca
  3. A Fish Called Wanda
  4. Everything is Illuminated
  5. I Served the King of England

#5 changes from time to time. I think it may be time to seriously reconsider #2 and #3, they’re still great, but it just might be time to have a rethink.

monster-sex-sinsNow I do see that Monster Sex Sins has stayed up there – but I’ve got to say, I’ve grown rather fond of the monster.  You could say he’s grown on me… And let’s face it – if his personal life is a bit quirky, that’s really none of my business. It’s occurred me that even the most sexually active people and monsters only spend a few hours a days actually engaging in sexual activity (unless of course they are in their late teens to early twenties, when more is at least possible). The rest of the time they’re just ‘us.’

Oh no… I’ve got to go back and rethink this. I’m pretty sure I’m not a 3D animated porn monster. But are YOU?

Written by Titirangi Storyteller

10/04/2009 at 12:58 pm

Search Engine Deliveries

with 4 comments

These are the most common terms people have used to find this blog in the last week:

  • Brad Pitt in Thelma and Louise
  • Lace knickers
  • Chinese train porn
  • Sexy wet t-shirt naughty
  • Sexy group sex pictures
  • Psycho blood spatter
  • Monster sex sins

I am perturbed. I prefer to think of myself as literate, intelligent, thought provoking in a challenging, but not offensive sort of way. I am well-read, well-educated, well-travelled and well, considering it’s all a work in progress, I thought I was doing fairly well.

Now I’m not so sure. It’s not just a question of rising above the incessant stream of media and pop-culture porn. Like – I am just sooo above all that, it’s not even an issue. And I just KNOW everything I publish on my blog reflects how sophisticated and witty I am. That’s just as clear as the dew on a daisy at dawn. So will someone tell me how these icky bottom-feeders are landing here? I mean, there ought to be a way to keep them out. Like I would actually write about the sort of stuff up there. Blech, blech and blech.

brad-pittOn a typical day, Google delivers me 40-50 people looking for photos of Brad Pitt. This is the only photo of Pitt I’ve got – from an article on Chick Flicks. I wonder if it pleases or disappoints? He is kinda cute, but I think he’s had a nose job since then.

The ‘Psycho blood spatter’ and ‘monster sex sins’ queries will undoubtedly take them to a piece on horror movies.

But you’ve really got to wonder just what the seeker had in mind with the phrase, ‘monster sex sins.’ Hmmm… I suppose I could Google it and see what comes up… Oh Crikey! It’s 3-D animated porn! Here’s a pic of the monster – since this blog only discusses porn, but doesn’t show porn between humans and other humans, humans and animals, or humans and extraterrestrials, the rest is left to your imagination. Strangely, the female in question appeared to be enmonster-sex-sinsjoying herself.

Yes, there are ‘normal’ queries, people looking for something about the Staten Island Ferry, or a review of Malena or pictures of hotel lobbies. But they are the minority. The reality is most of the people who end up here via a search engine are actually looking for porn. A lot of it much ickier than wet t-shirts and lacy knickers…

I’ve thought about this. If I want this blog to be successful, I should be putting some hard-core porn on it… I bet those porn-seekers would become regular readers. One problem of course is, I wouldn’t know where to get porn of my own – I’d have to steal it from somewhere on the web… Hmmm – I’m not looking forward to being strong-armed by enraged porn-purveyors… I don’t know.

I guess I’ll carry on as I am, leading those porno seekers on. Let them think they’re wandering into a den of iniquity – only to find we’ve got iquity in spades. That’ll show ’em! Or something…

Something else occurs to me – I get a lot of readers from Alpha Inventions. There’s almost no porn there. I wonder what those folks are really looking for???

Written by Titirangi Storyteller

06/04/2009 at 10:55 pm

Blogging is a saintly exercise

with 10 comments

I’m a month into this blogging thing, and have discovered it’s one of the most fun, creative things one can get up to on the computer. And even when I’m off

Read my blog! It's great! It's funny! It's topical! It's ful of useful information and handy hints! Read it! Read it! Please! Please! Please!!!

Read my blog! It's great! It's funny! It's topical! It's ful of useful information and handy hints! Read it! Read it! Here - I'll give you some candy...

the computer, I’m thinking what I’m going to post next, wondering who is reading what I’m writing – and what do they think?

Then there’s promoting your blog – face it, your friends and family, who may well love your blog and check in regularly, well, they are a pretty small group. 20-30 hits a day. And yet, you know there are blogs out there getting millions of hits every day. How do you get a slice of them?

Adding an RSS feed to my Facebook page was a good idea. Linking from other people’s blogs. I tried doing some posts on mailing lists – but it really felt like I was spamming, even if it was selective – but that just felt icky, so I gave that up quick. But the numbers did go up from all of these things. Google hits were going up. Then one day I had a huge jump – somehow a site called Alpha Inventions had send a couple hundred hits my way. I followed them up. It’s a blog-reader – or blog scroller, that pops up a new blog every 4-5 seconds. If it’s something that interests you, you can click on it and read it. If not, you just wait for the next one to pop up. And… you can plug your URL in and your site goes into the viewing queue – the catch is you are bumping some  else out of the queue and you will eventually get bumped. But I’m getting more hits – which is great. I just hope they turn into regular readers.

Blogging forces you to write something new and interesting every day. The oldest rule of writing there is – writers write. If you ain’t writing – you ain’t a writer. Somehow blogging is making me feel downright saintly, unlike my regular columns which are jobs, albeit ones I love. I’m feeling so saintly, that novel is calling louder and louder. No… I don’t think I’m going to set it in the Blogosphere.

Written by Titirangi Storyteller

01/02/2009 at 3:07 pm

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